Indianapolis 500 summary from Fark: “Somebody besides Danica won the Indy 500, dashing hopes of men around the world that she would have to kiss the Indy Queen. We understand he has a name, but who really cares?” Well put.

In other news, Kasey Kahne just won NASCAR’s Coca-Cola 600. The prospects for my fantasy team were destroyed when both Kurt Busch and Kyle Busch wrecked their cars.