Monday, June 28, 2004

Jonah Goldberg approves this post (Disclaimer: Jonah does not approve this post)

From what I’ve heard about the crockumentary Fahrenheit 9/11, it sounds exactly like this scene from the Simpsons:

Homer: Ehh, someone had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on the gummi Venus, so I grabbed it off her. Oh, just thinking about that sweet, sweet candy...[moans lustfully] I just wish I had another one right now. But the most important thing is --
Jones: That was really great Mr. Simpson. We got everything we need.

Later, on the “news” show “Rock Bottom”:

Homer: Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on [splice] her sweet [splice] can. [splice] -- o I grab her -- [splice] sweet can. [splice] Oh, just thinking about [splice] her [splice] can [splice] I just wish I had he -- [splice] sweet [splice] sweet [splice] s-s-sweet [splice] can.
Jones: So, Mr. Simpson: you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have to say in your defense?
Homer: [looking lustful in a clearly-paused VCR shot]
Jones: Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further. [paused shot of Homer grows larger] No, Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me. Get back! Get back! Mist -- Mr. Simpson -- nooo!
Man: [quickly] Dramatization -- may not have happened.

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