Amazing Race update – Back in the USSR

Well, normally I write my TAR update immediately after the show but I’m going to have to do this mostly from memory. Pat at Brainster has his contemporaneous review and you can read more at Phil’s Blog on the TAR main site.

Teams started out early morning in Brazil and headed to a zip line which was really just an excuse to show a lot of Racers screaming. At the bottom of the line, teams were handed the next clue: go to Moscow. As in Russia. Southern boy Lake is upset that he has to go somewhere cold. Quite honestly, I have never seen a Racer complain about a destination. Team Burning Man is in their typical “look at us!” mode.

Man, it’s a super-long flight from Sao Paulo, Brazil to Frankfurt, Germany then Moscow, Russia. All teams are on the same flight and break out of the airport into cabs – the drivers don’t appear to speak a word of English. Teams need to sprint to an outdoor pool and the Roadblock: one team member must dive off a platform then dive down for a clue. The clue for this Roadblock is “Who wants to take the plunge?” Yolanda, who can’t swim, and Wanda, who is afraid of depths, choose to do this task.

Next it’s off to a pretty cool cathedral then the clue for the Detour: Scrub or Scour. Teams may either go clean a bunch of trolleys at a train yard or head to a theater and open hundreds of Russian nesting dolls until they find one of ten clues. Half of the teams scrub trolleys in a straightforward but physical Detour; the other half opens dolls. Team Frat Boys somehow find their clue first and it reads: “Find Phil at St. Basil’s Cathedral in Red Square.” Hmmmm…the words “Pit Stop” are curiously absent.

Sure enough, Eric & Jeremy arrive at the mat (Lake & Michelle are close behind) and Phil declares them “the first team to arrive” (not “Team #1”) and hands them another clue. This is the dreaded “to be continued” and Team Frat Boys shuffle off to continue the Race.

Since there’s no finish to report, I’ll rank my favorite to least-favorite teams:

#1 – Dave & Lori – Team Nerd never fights and seems to be having the most fun in the Race. Only a dozen teams a year have a chance to travel the globe – why stress over the top prize when you probably won’t win anyway? Go Team Nerd! (Spoiler: if you read Phil's blog, he hints that Dave & Lori have fallen way back in Russia)

#2 – Wanda & Desiree – Mom/child teams never seem to go very far but these two are a lovable pair.

#3 – Monica & Joseph – Team MoJo has settled down quite a bit. They’re the cute couple in the mold of Kris & Jon.

#4 – Dani & Dani – Team Pink is OK. I think they’re slowly discovering they can’t use their superpowers to hail a cab.

#5 – Ray & Yolanda – Meh. Ray’s got the personality of an Easter Island statue.

#6 - BJ & Tyler. If people stop looking at Team Burning Man, they disappear. They're crazy, those two.

#7 – Lake & Michelle – Lake is too intense and refuses to admit errors that are all his fault. How many wrong turns can this guy make?

#8 – Eric & Jeremy – These guys must be latent homosexuals since their endless sex patter is surely designed to cover up their Brokeback Mountain feelings. Shut up already.

#9 – Fran & Barry – Did I just say “shut up?” That goes double for Team Kukla who say exactly two things: “Where’s the clue?” and “We’re going to be eliminated.” Incessantly defeatist, a hopeless grind. Go already.