A word on Southwest and people who fly Southwest

Southwest airline grade: A

Everybody I encountered from Southwest during my trip to Virginia was polite and professional to a fault. For a low-price airline, they display high-price class. The pilots (both out and back) made playful jokes about the Boston Red Sox and the flight attendants were cheerful and attentive. When I almost didn’t make the flight back to Bradley, they quickly put all the pieces together so that I could get home. Bravo to you, Southwest.

Southwest passengers grade: F

Listen up, morons. There’s no assigned seating on Southwest and every flight is overbooked. That means there will be no free seats on any flight…ever. When you get on a Southwest flight, do not occupy the seats such that the only ones left are the window seats and the last people onto the flight have to climb over you. On the flight out, a brain-addled husband and wife sat in the aisle and window seats then promptly put all their crap (coffee cup, bag, magazine) onto the middle seat. About a minute later, somebody needed that seat so there was this convoluted and unnecessary reshuffling. On the flight back, my wife had to climb over a couple who occupied the aisle and middle seats but, when we landed, decided they were going to wait until the entire plane emptied before they would get out. This forced my wife, who did not want to wait, to climb over them again.

Another thing: checking bags is not a terrible thing. You’re probably going to have to wait for the shuttle bus anyway, so please OK? Check your bags. People carry everything onto the plane. Unless it’s a portable dialysis machine, please please please stop clogging up the overhead bins. All I’m asking for is a little cooperation to keep things moving.