David Letterman's Top 10 List

Top Ten Things The Iraqi Information Minister Has Admitted Since Being Captured

10. "Okay, Iraq didn't win the war. It was a tie"
9. "Iraq's weapons scientists were secretly developing our own Hulk"
8. "Tariq Aziz had Botox"
7. "Saddam Hussein's not the innocent angel everyone thinks he is"
6. "Dr. Germ looks really hot when she's synthesizing VX gas"
5. "You picked the right guy for the 'Queen of Clubs,' if you know what I mean"
4. "Howard Dean will win the 2004 election"
3. "Uday Hussein's birth name -- Gary"
2. "I've been offered a job as editor of 'The New York Times'"
1. "The rumors are true -- I'm dating Ashton Kutcher"