Sunday, March 18, 2007

An open letter to Kasey Kahne

Hey, Kasey, how you doing? Just so's you know, I have you in my Fantasy NASCAR league, along with the Busch brothers and Denny Hamlin. And every week I say to myself: "He can't crash again. He's gotta finish this week."

Do you think you could do that for me? Actually finish a race? I'm now 0-4 in my league. Last week, all I needed you to do was stay in the same zip code as Mark Martin but you managed to lose grip and crash all by yourself. Enough already with the Allstate commercials - try to focus on your driving career.




Unknown said...

I don't follow NASCAR and I don't watch much TV. So, are you saying that Allstate uses a NASCAR driver who crashes every race as a spokesperson?

That's kind of amusing in a post-post-modern sort of way.

Anonymous said...

I understand gambling, but the premise of a NASCAR fantasy league sounds otherwise pointless. Everybody in NASCAR drives in a circle. And they're ranked. So... STRATEGY TIP COMING... it's better to pick #5 than the twentieth-ranked driver. It's like predicting which character will have the first line of dialogue on a new Simpsons episode.

My 4-character team is Marge, Skinner, Krusty, and I got stuck drafting Comic Book Guy.