Wednesday, March 26, 2003

The National Review & The Simpsons on midnight basketball

From Jay Nordlinger’s “Impromptus” column:

We have heard, endlessly, of the cost of the war, and that's as it should be — cost is not nothing. But it's time for a couple of elementary points. First, Democrats and liberals rarely fret about government expenditure, so their worries merit some skepticism. Second, this is what government is for: what the central government is for. The physical protection of the nation, first and foremost. Not midnight basketball, not "free false teeth," as Bill Buckley would say. The physical defense of the nation. Everything else is gravy.
The individual states can't provide national protection on their own; this is Washington's job; and it is doing it. Midnight basketball can be the province of a town. Or, better, some church or YMCA.

President Lisa: As you know, we've inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump. How bad is it Secretary Van Houten?
Milhouse: [shows a chart] We're broke.
Lisa: The country is broke? How can that be?
Milhouse: Well, remember when the last administration decided to invest in our nation's children? Big mistake.
Aide: The balanced breakfast program just created a generation of ultra-strong super-criminals.
Milhouse: And midnight basketball taught them to function without sleep.

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