Friday, October 26, 2007

My foray into first-hand reporting

For once, this blog can be a source of clarification. Here's a story from Western Massachusetts: "Suspicious device at UMass-Amherst declared harmless"

State and federal authorities are investigating the origins of a suspicious package that prompted the University of Massachusetts at Amherst to close its campus for several hours yesterday morning while the State Police bomb squad determined the device was harmless.

The bomb scare prompted the university to activate its emergency-notification system, including mass e-mails to 30,000 students, faculty, and staff and an announcement on the school's website. College officials said the alert went well, although the website was overwhelmed by the sudden volume.

Authorities said wires were sticking out of the device, but would not otherwise comment on its size and appearance or whether it was a hoax. Authorities cordoned off Herter Hall, an academic building in the center of campus, and the surrounding area and urged students to remain in their dormitories during the investigation.
But Pioneer Valley native Viking Pundit can: my wife told me it was a 30-pack of empty beer cans with a bunch of wires attached and a sign reading "Don't move this or it will blow up." Those UMass pranksters!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Could be worse. I saw a video on Entensity.net recently in which the police detonated a suspicious box on the side of a street. After the "BLAMO!", dead cat parts everywhere. The bomb squad blew up a mother cat and two of her kittens.

Anonymous said...

A White House spokesman later revealed that the mother cat had been the #3 man in al Qaeda.

JorgXMcKie said...

Upon hearing that the cops had killed "the #3 man in al Qaeda," Sen Harry Reid and Rep Nancy Pelosi immediately called for the entire police force to be suspended until "a full investigation" of possible violation of the civil rights of the al-Qaeda had been concluded. They also called for immediate withdrawal of police from the city unless the politicians could resolve sectarian differences.

Rep Jack Murtha said the police force should be given the death penalty since they obviously were guilty of murder.

Rep Henry Waxman demanded more head polish.

Anonymous said...

Six times the verbiage, to make one-sixth the joke. Gotta love that conservative satire!