The Ten Worst Songs of the past 25 Years

Outside the Beltway is having a contest on the worst songs of the past quarter-century. I already submitted my choices without explanation, but here's the annotated version for you music buffs:

In reverse order:

10.) "Don't Come Around Here No More" by Tom Petty. Why this was a top 40 hit is beyond me. Awful.

9.) "Waterfalls" by TLC. Do you know the song "Cherish" by the Association? It's basically one note over and over. Same with this except "Waterfalls" manages to throw in some brainless lyrics like "Don't go chasing waterfalls." Why? Are they hard to catch?

8.) "Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo. Their name is aborigine for "Complete crap crap."

7.) "Nothing's gonna stop us now" by Starship. Well, somebody took "We Built this City" which is much worse, but I'll claim this one.

6.) "Get Over It" by the Eagles. The Eagles put out this piece of dung after they reformed for the "Hell Freezes Over" tour. It would have been honest for them to just say: "We needed money." But instead they tried to gloss over this obvious fact by presenting "new material" that was so slapdash, you can tell Frey and Henley spent a weekend in Malibu smoking weed. The defensive "Get Over It" is a musical mess with a bad 'tude.

5.) "Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams. "No"

4.) "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by the Crash Test Dummies. A plodding tempo, inane non-rhyming lyrics, and a "melody" that sounds like guitar strings plucked by screwdrivers.

3.) "Just a Gigolo" by David Lee Roth. Did you ever hear this old-time song? It glides like Fred Astaire's shoes over a well-waxed floor. Roth took this stylish lounge standard and "YEOWED"! it to death. A crime against music.

2.) "Broken Arrow" by Rod Stewart. Another cover ruined. The original by Robbie Robertson of the Band was smooth and spiritual. Stewart practically barks the lyrics, accentuating every syllable with equally overblown intensity. It's exhausting.

1.) "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. I had to think about the other nine choices a little, but this one rose to the top of the list faster than a line of coke up Whitney's nose. This is supposed to be a song about losing a lover and Dolly Parton's original was nuanced and emotional. Houston's version is a relentless catharsis, drained of subtlety, culminating in what can only be called a triumphal coda that is utterly out of step with the meaning of the song. She should follow it up with Hank Williams "And Iiiiiiiiiiiii'm So Lonesome I could Cry-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y." Whitney showboats her vocal range and destroys the artistic vision – worst ever.