My co-workers drive me insane because every time we go out to lunch, they have to hit the ATM. Can’t people carry around a couple of bucks? Same story when I go to Target and the person in front of me is buying four dollars worth of stuff and paying with a credit card. Sweet mercy, don’t you have $5 on you? Then it’s all the swiping and confirming and signing and…just carry some bills, huh!?!
Aside from my inconvenience, I warn them that the constant use of magnetic-striped plastic cards are all part of a government conspiracy to follow our every move. “Ah, there goes Eric Lindholm taking some money out of the bank” – “Now he’s charging a modestly priced lunch at Chilis – must have had some drinks….”
Last week, for the first time in my life, I purchased one of those good razors instead of my usual disposable ones. It was a CVS knockoff of a “Mach 3” razor but I wanted to get the cheap one to see how it worked out before moving up to the expensive models. I paid with cash.
Yesterday, in the mail I got a free sample…of a Mach 3 razor.
They know. You’re next. Use cash and fight the bank-credit card company-government conspiracy! And just because everybody's out to get me doesn't mean I'm paranoid.
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