Amazing Race 7 update – In which I give in and learn to like Rob

Teams starts out from Santiago, Chile and must drive a marked car to the Andes mountains in Argentina. However, the cars are all in a parking garage that doesn’t open until 5am so everybody is bunched up. The route marker warns us that there’s a Yield ahead and we see some teams discussing the prospect of putting Team Survivor at a disadvantage. However, after several hours of driving, Rob & Amber arrive at the next route marker first so the scheming became moot. All teams are heading from Santiago, Chile to Puente Vieja, Argentina high in the Andes mountains and we see an incredible serpentine highway heading up up up.

Well, all teams except two. At only twenty minutes into the show, it’s pretty clear that either Team Mom/Son or Team Friends Forever will be in last place. Susan & Patrick spend almost two hours trying to find the highway out of Santiago (!) while Debbie & Bianca drive over two hours past the exit for the mountains. They finally figured something was wrong with their internal compass when they saw the ocean (!!!). Here’s a travel tip: if you’re trying to find the mountains, turn around when you reach the beach.

Once in Puente Vieja, all the teams pass up the Yield and head for the Detour: Paddle or Pedal. Teams must either paddle seven miles down a river or bike the same distance over some train tracks; everybody picks paddle except for Team Spicoli. About halfway through, one of the brothers gets a flat tire and they have to walk the rest of the way hauling a mountain bike. After finishing the course, the teams head to a traditional Argentinean ranch where they rip open the next route marker...

Roadblock: one member from each team must consume four pounds of meat that might be served in a Andean barbecue. (The wife and I turn to each other, eyebrows raised. Four pounds? No way.) Team Showtunes arrive first followed closely by Team Survivor and right away you can tell it’s going to be a huge struggle. Alex (of Lynn & Alex) keeps at it, but Rob turns to Amber and asks what happens if he opts not to complete the Roadblock. It’s a four hour penalty from the time the next team arrives. Rob immediately quits, convinced that even with the penalty, he would finish ahead of other teams trying to cram 64 ounces of charred cow.

I’ve never seen an Amazing Race team benefit from taking a penalty. But, man, Rob is thinking outside the box. And not only does he skip the task, he convinces other teams that they cannot finish it either. This logic works wonders on small-stomached Deana and the elderly Meredith who also decide to take the penalty. Once these teams followed Rob’s strategy, Team Survivor was guaranteed at least a seventh place finish. It was – boy it pains me to say this – brilliant strategy. Rob, I tip my Red Sox cap to you sir.

Exhibiting the iron stomach of Chip (season 5), Uchenna finishes eating his meat and Team Africa is briefly in first place and on their way to the Pit Stop. But Alex finishes soon afterward and Team Showtunes also head to the Pit Stop at an Argentinean ranch. Somewhere along the way, Team Africa takes a wrong turn and Team Showtunes hit the TAR shower mat as Team #1. Uchenna and Joyce arrive minutes later as team #2. They’re followed soon afterward by the other teams that finished the meat, Team Spicoli and Team America. The three teams that took the penalty arrive soon afterward, leaving Team Mom/Son and Team Friends Forever at the barbeque. The ranch hands have graciously positioned buckets in case one of the racers needs to, um, empty the contents of his/her stomach.

The final two teams realize that taking a penalty is no longer an option so it’s an eating contest to the end between whiny Patrick and determined (but too thin) Debbie. Patrick involuntarily throws up and this must have freed up some space in the stomach because sometime later he finishes and Team Mom/Son head to the Pit Stop where they arrive as Team #8. Team Friends Forever finally make it in, but they are eliminated from the Race.

Final standings – Leg #3

#1 – Team Showtunes – Lynn & Alex
#2 – Team Africa – Uchenna & Joyce
[five other teams]
#8 – Team Mom/Son – Susan & Patrick
#9 – Team Friends Forever – Debbie & Bianca – ELIMINATED

Next week: Rob continues to scheme. A Roadblock on horseback.