Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Ah do believe I'm gettin' the vapours!

There's a certain left-wing, no-talent hack who writes for the local free newspaper. In his hyperventilation, there's not an issue under his sun that doesn't spell the end of the world (e.g. baseball, the new Walmart, people driving cars) but this time he's really gone bonkers. Try to guess the critical event that threatens our very life and liberty from the excerpts of his latest blog entry:

"They are planning a Tiananmen Square for America on the Mall in Washington, D.C."
"This plan is the moral equivalent of the "final solution" to dissent in the Nation's Capital."
"If this is allowed to go through, it is the end of the freedom of assembly - guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution - in this nation."
"This is a dark, dark time in American history."
Heavens! What nefarious event does this nutjob approximate to the Holocaust? (e.g. "final solution"). Hold onto your tri-cornered hats, patriots of America: the National Park Service wants to designate an area on the Washington, D.C. National Mall for protests.

Can the Republic survive? We can only hope…we can only hope.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So rather than deal with the possible merit of the complaint, you focus on the kookiness of the least sensible complainer you can find. Does the right ever get tired of that stunt? Is the state of Colorado still standing, or has Ward Churchill destroyed it yet?

How about you forget the loud laments of Bisbork the Batty Bolshevik, and tell us: SHOULD public protest be arbitrarily cordoned off for the government's convenience?

Is that in keeping with the constructionist Constitution or its spirit?

How about next year (or any other Democratic administration), when it's Republicans doing most of the complaining?

Well, I've got to go contact my Senators. They MUST grant the phone companies total retroactive immunity from criminal activity, because some guy on a Daily Kos FISA thread photoshopped a Hitler mustache onto Bush.

Eric said...

Are you serious? I'm supposed to defend this plan because Republicans might be swarming around the base of Congress? As I've said before: we have jobs.

And, sure, why shouldn't the government decide where protests occur? Protesters can still make noise under the balconies of Congress without upsetting the tourist crowd. "Arbitrarily" suggests that blocking hippies from the National Archives is an abrogation of the Constitution.

And, yes, ridiculing outlandish, over-the-top, Holocaust-equating rhetoric is tremendous fun.

Good luck with your Senators. So far, they granted every request that President Bush has made. Damn Republicans!

Anonymous said...

Amid the mishmosh of that reply (Jobs! Tourists! Holocaust! Harry Reid!), there was a definite highlight.

And, sure, why shouldn't the government decide where protests occur?

What a brilliant thought. Such perspective! Clearly, deflating an angry beatnik whose free press career has stalled at the mighty Hartford Advocate is a suitable Mt. Everest for you.

Unknown said...

"When you have no basis for argument, attack the plaintiff."
-- Seneca

Anon,

A few things you -- and the author of the screed Eric pointed us to --fail to consider here.

One, the NPS isn't saying people can't protest, they're just asking that people make plans in advance so that adequate preparations can be made to accomodate attendees. This means things like toilet facilities, availability of water and shade so that people don't get sick onsite, and availability of emergency personnel -- not necessarily the police, but EMS in particular -- in case something happens. If one has never planned a large event, one wouldn't consider things like insurance requirements and sanitation facilities. But believe me, they're important.

Two, given the current requirements for environmental impact studies and etc. one needs in order to set aside property for any kind of group-assembly or -accomodation facilities, their building of a plan to accomodate people's needs is actually pretty forward-thinking for a bureacratic organization such as theirs.

Third, please remember that at this point, NPS is merely soliciting public comment on their plan. It has not been implemented. So if you really feel that strongly about their project, by all means: the address and contact information for this project is on the NPS's webpage. Feel free to avail yourself.

I looked into their plan and nowhere could I find any indication that NPS seeks to abridge our right to free speech. I would suppose, from reading their comments, that they're just sick and tired of people making the world's largest mudpie out of public facilities without making adequate arrangements beforehand. So that being said, indeed, I find the screedauthor's rant both amusing and sad. Then again, it may be his flashbacks from self-inflicted abuses during the 'Nam era that infuse the kind of paranoia he seeks to spread via the written word. How should I know?

Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

"How about next year (or any other Democratic administration), when it's Republicans doing most of the complaining?"

Republicans have jobs, U.L.T. They don't have time to waste ranting about a socialist paradise. Besides, after the latest dose of diseased hippies are finished humping eachother and urinating on the mall, what sane person would want to go there anyway?

Snoop-Diggity-DANG-Dawg