Amazing Race update – It takes a village to milk a goat

Teams started out from the salt pan in Botswana and had to drive several hours to an African village where they hit a Detour: Carry it or Milk it. They have a choice between two tasks: either carry a bunch of objects on their heads about forty yards (no hands!) or milk some goats to fill a cup. Several of the teams try to balance baskets and buckets of water on their heads but simply cannot do it; they give up to milk goats. Eventually all the teams are shown milking goats except for Team Africa. Uchenna and Joyce (the black couple) tap into some long-dormant African skill and finish the task in record time. The brothers Brian and Greg start way behind the other teams but they’re still cracking wise: on opening the first envelope, one says “Big bucks! Big bucks! No whammies!” Later when they’re milking the goats, one says “Now we need a cappuccino.”

After the Detour, teams must drive a half-hour to the Khwai River where they hit the Roadblock. One team member must drive a Land Rover through a waterhole, then remove a marked post in the ground, then move two logs off the road. Team America and Team Survivor arrive at the Roadblock neck-and-neck but Boston Rob scrambles like mad while Ron is less urgent about the task, much to the consternation of Kelly. Team Survivor finishes first and heads off to the Pit Stop at the Khwai Lodge. They arrive as Team #1, only moments ahead of Team America.

Back at the Roadblock, we see Uchenna & Joyce drive through the water and then rip the marker off the post – but not remove it. There’s a brief camera stutter: will Team Africa be penalized for not pulling the post from the ground? It seems like a minor point since in most cases the purpose of a certain sub-task is to ensure that a team reaches some arbitrary location before starting a task. Hmmm…we’ll see. Anyway, they finish the task and head off to the Pit Stop. Meanwhile, the other teams are having random troubles: Team Showtunes’ Land Rover breaks down twice, Meredith is struggling in the African heat and Team Spicoli is trying to catch up.

Team Africa arrives at the Khwai Lodge and are not informed that they are Team #3. Instead, Phil says: “You’re the third team to arrive” which in TAR argot (TARgot?) means “You screwed up.” Uchenna & Joyce head back out and, after re-reading the clue, discover their error. They need to drive back to the river, pick up the post and head back to the lodge; they do so and arrive as Team #3.

More mental errors: after completing the Roadblock, Team Codger drives right past the clue waiting at the end of the course. They arrive at the lodge and are told: “You’re the fifth team to arrive.” They need to go back to the river and pick up the route marker; they do so and finish as Team #5.

That means Team Spicoli is bringing up the rear and they know it. But, what the hell, they’ve traveled halfway around the world and seen a hundred things in a month that most people won’t see in a lifetime. There’s no point in pouting or blaming your team member (yes, I’m talking about you Ray & Deana) – now’s the time to show a little dignity and gracefully accept defeat with your head held high.

Therefore, before they drive to the Pit Stop, Brian and Greg break out their backpacks and don their swimming trunks. One of them puts on an outlandish mukluk hat and they both are wearing Hollywood sunglasses as they, sans shirts, step onto the mat. Although Phil wants to give them points for fashion, Team Spicoli is eliminated from the Race.

Final standings:

#1 – Team Survivor – Rob & Amber
#2 – Team America – Ron & Kelly
#3 – Team Africa – Uchenna & Joyce
#4 – Team Showtunes – Lynn & Alex
#5 – Team Codger – Meredith & Gretchen
#6 – Team Spicoli – Brian & Greg – ELIMINATED

Programming note: If you’ve missed the first half of the season, tomorrow night there will be a recap of all The Amazing Race 7 episodes up until this point.

Extra: Kris (running a little late tonight?) is also heartbroken about the departure of Team Spicoli. Hey, they were a great team.