Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Yes, Virginia is a red state…

…and Santa Claus is a Democrat. So says discredited pollster John Zogby:

A plurality of likely voters say that longtime Christmas fixture Santa Claus is a Democrat, a new Zogby International poll reveals. The same survey found voters even more sure of the political leanings of two other Christmas icons: Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grinch are likely Republicans.
Isn’t it obvious that the Grinch is a member of the Green Party? More bad exit polling, I suppose.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Santa a Democrat? Hang on. This is the same Santa who:

Is centered around a religious holiday
Has a traditional marriage with an apparent homemaker
Puts animals to work
Is a major employer of elves
Is well fed
Gives "gifts" to children who have EARNED them by being nice
Punishes the naughty with a lump of coal

Santa's a Republican!

Anonymous said...

And he's operating a huge toy manufacturing operation in the pristine North Pole. And think about the noise polution as he ho-ho-hos while flying about in his sleigh on Christmas eve.

Fausta said...

Zogby joins the ranks of the idiots that attribute outside behavior to fictional characters, like Pat Robertson did with the Teletubbies years ago.

Anonymous said...

This is news? P.J. O'Rourke nailed this one in the intro to Parliament of Whores back in '91:

I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.