Walgreens Cashier Asks If You Want To Round Up To Help Pay For Some Of The Merchandise Stolen This Week
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — To help recover losses from rampant, unprosecuted shoplifting in San Francisco, Walgreens is now letting customers round up their orders to help cover what was stolen that week.
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San Francisco Walgreens Introduces New Frequent Looter Rewards Punch Card
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In response to record levels of unprosecuted shoplifting, Walgreens stores in San Francisco have introduced a new "Frequent Looter Rewards Card."
"If you can't beat 'em, I guess all you can do is join 'em," said Sandra Lopez, regional manager in charge of 8 locations in the Bay Area. "We don't even have regular shoppers anymore - just looters."
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Pretty lame fan service for undemanding readers.
But the CFO of Walgreens admitting to Walgreens investors that the company had invented the rampant San Francisco crime wave? Now THAT was fabulous comedy.
1 comment:
ACTUAL Babylon Bee headline hilarity:
Walgreens Cashier Asks If You Want To Round Up To Help Pay For Some Of The Merchandise Stolen This Week
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — To help recover losses from rampant, unprosecuted shoplifting in San Francisco, Walgreens is now letting customers round up their orders to help cover what was stolen that week.
-------------------------------
San Francisco Walgreens Introduces New Frequent Looter Rewards Punch Card
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In response to record levels of unprosecuted shoplifting, Walgreens stores in San Francisco have introduced a new "Frequent Looter Rewards Card."
"If you can't beat 'em, I guess all you can do is join 'em," said Sandra Lopez, regional manager in charge of 8 locations in the Bay Area. "We don't even have regular shoppers anymore - just looters."
-----------------------
Pretty lame fan service for undemanding readers.
But the CFO of Walgreens admitting to Walgreens investors that the company had invented the rampant San Francisco crime wave? Now THAT was fabulous comedy.
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