DSL update

So I contacted a nice girl, probably from Mumbai, who tried to help me with my connection problems with Verizon DSL.  Here's the TL;DR version:

Me: "It's not the modem" [here is where I cite various reasons why I came to that conclusion]
Them: "We'll send you a new modem."

Hey, whatever.  I'm connected to the Internet now because my faulty modem magically started working.