For April Fools Day: The funniest thing that ever happened to me

The setup: I was at a study hall with my college roommate and his then-girlfriend. She and I were on one side of a table, he and an empty seat on the other. At some point, I put a leg up on the empty seat and we all quietly studied.

Then it happened: my roommate absent-mindedly rested his hand on my leg. Obviously thinking it was his girlfriend’s, he rolled up my pant leg and started caressing my ankle. Now, here’s the most important part: I said nothing. I looked up, but he was clearly trying to keep this small display of affection on the Q.T. and gave no indication whatsoever that anything strange was going on.

Now, I’m no caveman, but I’m thinking: Doesn’t he realize there’s an inordinate amount of hair on his “girlfriend’s” legs? Isn’t the girth of the ankle just a bit large? And, since I was about a foot taller than she, wasn’t he suspicious that the leg extended diagonally across to the empty seat without stretching?

No matter. I said nothing for, oh I don’t know how long, maybe 15 minutes. Then she stood up to get a Coke and all was revealed.

(Names have been expunged to protect the guilty)