Write-wing authors

(I apologize for that pun). Slate surveyed 31 American novelists which candidate they’re supporting for the Presidency. Big surprise: almost all are supporting Kerry against Bush. Putting the ABB vitriol aside, here are the specific positions of the Democratic candidate they agreed with:

“Kerry would remove most of the tax cuts to the rich and give more back to the rest of the country.” (Amy Tan)

That’s it: everything else is “he’s not Bush” despite the fact that these learned, highly literal authors claim they’re voting “for” Kerry.

Robert Ferrigno gets the prize for Quote of the Day:

Mark me on the Bush side of the ledger, a lonely side for this survey, I'm certain. Most novelists live in their imagination, which is a fine place to be until the bad guys come knock knock knocking. I don't agree with Bush on shoveling free meds to granny and grandpa, or his antipathy to fuel conservation along with opening up the arctic reserve, but this is small stuff. I'll be voting for Bush because his approach to stopping the people who want to kill my children is the right one, i.e., kill them first. Kerry will dance the Albright two-step with Kim Jong-il, consult with Sandy Berger's socks, and kowtow to the U.N. apparatchiks who have done such a fine job of protecting the Cambodians, Rwandans, and the Sudanese. No thanks. No contest.

Daniel Handler wins the Poseur Award:

Anyone who reads my work knows that I favor de-escalation rather than inflammation of violence, the discouragement rather than the display of avarice and careful contemplation over rash action. For these reasons and more I am voting for Mr. Kerry and Mr. Edwards.

Right ho, Jeeves! Mr. Handler also favors puppies over hedgehogs. Harrumph!

Vendela Vida takes the Alec Baldwin Memorial prize:

John Kerry: If he doesn't win, I'll have to be Canadian for the next four years.

We’re going to hold you to that, Vendela.