Friday, December 30, 2005

Predictions for 2006

All the cool kids are doing it (NRO, B4B, Anchoress, Red State) so I might as well throw in my WAGs:

The Democrats will pick up a handful of seats in the House and Senate, but not enough to regain control in either body. Regardless, Howard Dean will trumpet this as a major realignment in the body politic causing the Democrats to become even more obstructionist (if such a thing is possible). This will be evident when yet another Supreme Court seat opens up and the Senate Republicans are forced to trigger the “nuclear/constitutional” option to override a filibuster.

After some grumblings over a handful of decisions over his long career, Samuel Alito will be confirmed; he’ll receive votes from a single-digit number of Democrats (as opposed to the 22 votes that John Roberts got).

The New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl yet again. The astonishing fact that QB Tom Brady has never lost a playoff game will take its place among the greatest sports achievements.

The 19th century game of baseball will continue to shed fans while NASCAR ascends. American high school cliques will re-form based on favorite drivers.

Having plumbed the depths of classic TV and video games, Hollywood will turn to television commercials for ideas. That “Yes I Am” guy from the Bud Light commercials gets his own feature film.

After (yet another) assassination attempt almost takes the life of president Pervez Musharraf, Pakistan seeks wider coordination with the U.S. in the fight against radicals. Osama Bin Laden is killed by his own men as U.S. forces close in.

Running on his father’s name, Tom Kean Jr. is elected governor of Senator from New Jersey.

Israel v. Iran – it’s going to happen and it will be ugly. Despite the fervent wishes of some, there will be no overthrow of the mullahs.

An uneasy coalition government forms in Iraq as nationalism (barely) edges out religious factionalism. After a successful re-drafting of the Iraqi constitution, Joe Biden will move the goalposts again about what “success” means.

Hugo Chavez will stage a one-week freeze of petroleum exports to the United States, causing another price spike and illuminating America’s overdependence on foreign oil supplies. However, absolutely nothing will be done to increase domestic supplies or refinery capacity.

Regretfully, there will be no action on Social Security, Medicare, or tax reform.

ESPN will launch an all-Texas Hold’em channel. Air America will fold.

General Motors will go through a massive restructuring, more seismic than the breakup of Standard Oil, in an effort to stave off bankruptcy.

Another unexpected expense for the Big Dig will rob millions more from Massachusetts citizens.

President Bush will settle into a 50-50 approval-disapproval holding pattern, unless some dramatic event in the GWOT pushes him up (e.g. capture of Osama) or down (e.g. another terrorist attack).

After a year of dismal ratings, the New York radio station WCBS-FM switches from the insipid “Jack” format back to oldies. Cousin Brucie reboots with “New York, New York” by Frank Sinatra.

The “original recipe” Amazing Race starting in February will the longest and best Race yet.

More predictions from GOP Bloggers and Jay Reding

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Running on his father’s name, Tom Kean Jr. is elected governor of New Jersey."

Either you're doing predictions for 2009 or you meant elected to US Senate.

Eric said...

Whoops - you're right. Thanks for the tip.

Brian said...

ESPN will have an all-Texas Hold 'Em Channel? Just yesterday, my girlfriend said to me, "Is that some all-poker channel?" because I watch it all the time. You gotta admit that Lon McEachern makes a jack on the river sound as exciting as a 9th-inning home run to win the series. (Oh wait, you hate baseball...bad analogy) Norman Chad is great too. I have to admit I like the guy a ton.

As for Israel-Iran, you are right but it won't be ugly. We'll all wake up on a Sunday morning real soon and hear that Israel bombed all of their nuclear sites. So-called world leaders will run to the microphone and denounce Israel. (Bush may even pay some lip service to that too, although I hope he can hold back his laugh). However, everyone will be secretly happy as hell that Israel did what they didn't have the will to do.

Happy New Year my cyber-pal...

Robert said...

Flash! The Chicago Bears, once again, trounce the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl.

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Anonymous said...

Alright, Seahawks vs. Steelers who do you like?

Who will win the Super Bowl

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